By Jasmine Wilborne
I don’t want to go into much detail, nor do I feel it necessary to write any disclaimers.
What is happening in my life isn’t original. It isn’t unheard of. I’m not the first one to experience the pain, anger and confusion of having a family member reject their family in favor for friends, older men and drugs.
I’m not the first sister to consider a life without talking to their youngest sister.
I’m not the first person who has experienced family chaos.
However, this is the first time I’ve ever felt the pain, disorder and confusion of “out there” “in here”- in my heart, in my home, in my family.
I’m no longer religious. I don’t have religion or God to tie me down, to vent to. I don’t have prayer. I don’t have rituals.
But I want peace.
I want to cultivate spiritual and emotional power over the only thing I can control: myself.
I am seeking the wisdom of the earth and the body and the mind together as one.
Therefore, I have decided to take the first step of many steps towards spiritual enlightenment, meditation and yoga discipline.
I am starting now, in the midst of chaos. Where I know the last answer is the easier one: to disown my youngest sister. To severe her from my mind. To wish ill will on her. To regard her has scum.
There is another way, one that I am too emotionally and spiritually immature to truly consider.
But there is a way.
And I will grow to embrace and practice it.