PermaCycle

Rolling a tread between People and Permaculture

My Youngest Sister is Causing Chaos, Pain and Anger: So I’m Turning to Spiritual Practices to Learn How to Turn Lemons Into Lemonade

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By Jasmine Wilborne

I don’t want to go into much detail, nor do I feel it necessary to write any disclaimers.

What is happening in my life isn’t original. It isn’t unheard of. I’m not the first one to experience the pain, anger and confusion of having a family member reject their family in favor for friends, older men and drugs.

I’m not the first sister to consider a life without talking to their youngest sister.

I’m not the first person who has experienced family chaos.

However, this is the first time I’ve ever felt the pain, disorder and confusion of “out there” “in here”- in my heart, in my home, in my family.

I’m no longer religious. I don’t have religion or God to tie me down, to vent to. I don’t have prayer. I don’t have rituals.

But I want peace.

I want to cultivate spiritual and emotional power over the only thing I can control: myself.

I am seeking the wisdom of the earth and the body and the mind together as one.

Therefore, I have decided to take the first step of many steps towards spiritual enlightenment, meditation and yoga discipline.

I am starting now, in the midst of chaos. Where I know the last answer is the easier one: to disown my youngest sister. To severe her from my mind. To wish ill will on her. To regard her has scum.

There is another way, one that I am too emotionally and spiritually immature to truly consider.

But there is a way.

And I will grow to embrace and practice it.

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Author: zestyjazz

I'm a garden and a bicycle.

3 thoughts on “My Youngest Sister is Causing Chaos, Pain and Anger: So I’m Turning to Spiritual Practices to Learn How to Turn Lemons Into Lemonade

  1. Good for you. It’s difficult choice you’ve made, but a worthwhile one. I wish you the very best of luck. I hope your sister works through her problems and comes back to you as someone you can recognise.

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    • Thank you for your words. It will be hard. I feel the difficulty of the decision in every moment that I am home. Grant it I just came to this realization yesterday. I know that I will have to swallow my own pride and learn to see the greater picture- personal sacrifice yields great community gains. I want to have a full life with a whole family and whole friends, it won’t happen overnight. Instead it will be a slow grueling process. I will mature into the woman I want to be everyday I chose to be the woman I want to be. I will have to learn to recognize my sister in the form that she comes to me in. Not the form I want her to be, and that is so challenging and painful. But one day I may be able to get over it, to reckon with her and her decisions and embrace her fully and completely.

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  2. Is your sister at least honest with you? That would be a great start. Then trust can build.

    Parents choose to have more than 1 child because often it’s to ensure the 1 child doesn’t become spoiled..and to give their child(ren) friends for life.

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